


not a love story | camren au

by jaureguicabello5eva



Series: Camren AU One-Shots [3]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: 5h, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Camren - Freeform, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Humor, fifthharmony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 21:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20346637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaureguicabello5eva/pseuds/jaureguicabello5eva
Summary: Not all stories about two people are love stories.And just because it’s a love story, doesn’t mean it will last.





	not a love story | camren au

Not all stories about two people are love stories.

And just because it’s a love story, doesn’t mean it will last.

\---

“Love isn’t real.”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath as you try your best to compose yourself before turning around to what you assume is yet _another_ heartbroken soul wanting to drink their sorrows away.

It’s almost the end of your shift and you’ve been doing good this week, keeping the bar relatively incident-free, so you’re not going to let anything – or _anyone_ – get in the way of your squeaky clean record so far.

It’s been a reasonably quiet last few days and you know for the most part, that’s because it’s finals week in a college town and your regulars are all still pretending they have a chance to salvage their semester by studying for finals. It’s not until next week when those dreams have been inevitably crushed that everyone will be drinking a different kind of sorrow for the next few days. The kind that tastes suspiciously like hundreds of thousands of college debt.

So you turn around and you’re ready to pretend you didn’t hear the lone person that’s hanging out at one end of your bar. But you get a good look at her and you decide, well - it may be worth entertaining the conversation after all.

She seems harmless enough and like someone who’s just looking for a conversation and since listening to other people’s life stories is essentially part of your job description as a bartender, you decide, why not?

It doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty too, of course. Striking green eyes canopied under long lashes. Sharp cheekbones and a jawline that’ll kill you. All framed by dark-colored, soft waves – so you can’t help yourself because you’ve always been a sucker for pretty girls in leather jackets.

“Yeah? Tell me more about it, please,” you say with a smirk as you swing the bar towel onto your shoulder and lean your forearms on the bar, giving Ms. Green Eyes your full attention.

“Okay, let me rephrase,” she amends after she takes the time to look you up and down, not missing the hint of appreciation that graces her eyes.

“_Everlasting_ love, like the kind you see in movies and read about in books. You know,” she gestures vaguely in the air with both of her hands. “The kind of mutual love where you both stay in love forever and ever? _That_ shit isn’t real. So you can keep your rom-coms and your lies, thank you, I don’t want any part of it.”

“I don’t think that’s necessarily true.”

“Yeah? Well, why do you say that? Where’s the proof, hm?” she challenges as she leans back and crosses her arms across her chest, making her cleavage more prominent. But onto more important things. “I’m a science kind of person. I need some empirical evidence.”

“Well,” you muse as you tap a finger to your chin. “Mis abuelos have been together since the beginning of time, so there you go. There’s your evidence,” you exclaim in triumph as you watch her shake her head.

“Okay, but that’s _one_ relationship that you know that has lasted. How many more relationships do you know that _didn’t_ last, huh? Everywhere you look, people are breaking up.”

“Well-”

“And! Get this,” she adds with increasing urgency. “How many of those couples that ‘last,” she’s doing exaggerated air quotes around the word and you don’t stop the smile that forms on your lips at how skeptical she looks, “have stayed together because they still truly love one another. Like, think about it.”

There’s a pause as she lets her words settle in the air between you.

“How many of those love stories last because they actually stayed in love with one another, and how many stay together only because they got comfortable? Because they got too scared to venture out even if they know in their heart they might not be in love anymore? They think it’s too late for them, that they wouldn’t even know where to begin if they were to try dating again.”

"I bet you're real fun at parties, huh," you finally say in return after a couple of seconds of silence.

She rolls her eyes and downs the glass of whiskey in front of her without a single wince, and you can’t help when your eyes follow the way her throat moves as she swallows the smooth liquid down.

“I’m just saying, what’s the point in falling in love? In deciding to commit to someone when there’s no guarantee that it’ll even last. Actually, chances are, it _won’t_ last.”

“I don’t know, isn’t there a saying about it being better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”

“Another thing that’s complete bullshit,” the girl in front of you sputters with disgust. “Is it? Is it better to have invested yourself and your feelings into something and lose it anyway? Sounds like somebody’s just messing around with us.

“Like who even is in charge of this goddamn universe?” she’s looking at you now with earnestness, but behind it, you can see a glimpse of the pain you know is there. “Who is out there deciding who gets to find a forever love and who just gets their heart broken their entire lives, over and over again?

“Is there like some omniscient writer somewhere who’s projecting their feelings onto fictional characters in the hopes of filling a void that’s in their stupid, little broken heart?

“Like, keep me out of your pain, y’know,” she ends her rant in a dejected voice.

“Ohhhkay,” you say as you grab the empty glass before you. “Maybe it’s time to cut you off for the night.”

“One of these days, miss,” she says resolutely as she nods to herself while straightening her jacket and preparing to leave. “You’ll see what I’m talking about.

“Love isn’t real!” She yells as she’s walking out the door and you shake your head as you watch her with a small smile.

\---

“You know _she_ was the one that made the move to take our relationship to the next step.”

You turn around and you can’t help the smile that forms on your face when you’re met with the same green eyes that had been so adamant about not believing in real love. It’s been a month since you’ve seen Miss Anti-Love and she’s back with more reasons as to why people shouldn’t even try.

“Whatever happened to setting the scene, huh,” you raise an eyebrow at the girl that’s making herself comfortable at your bar as she peruses your happy hour deals. “You’re just gonna start every scene with a random dialogue?”

“Listen,” she sighs. “The people are here for the important parts. So let’s just get right to the thick of it. Anyways, as I was saying,” she pretends to be exasperated, but you catch a slight uptick on the side of her lips. “I was doing just fine being best friends, right? Like yeah, I had feelings for her because she’s great and really, that wasn’t _my_ fault. That was _hers_ for being so great and lovable, y’know?

“But like, I was okay with being just friends! Believe it or not, I never really entertained the idea that she could like me back, and even in the rare times that I did, I was still pretty resolute in never really making a move. Do you wanna know why?”

“Do tell,” you say in a faux-bored tone as you start wiping the rack of glasses in front of you. It’s not like you have anything else to do really, it’s been another slow night for summer.

“Because, I was thinking,” she continues as she swirls her drink on the table – another whiskey -, slender fingers lightly wrapped around the crystal glass. “I really want her to be a part of my life forever. She’s too important of a person to me to risk losing that for a relationship that might not work out in the end. But of course, she had to go ahead and make the move. And who am I to say no to the love of my life, hm?

“And guess what?”

“What?”

“I was right. Things didn’t work out and we’re still friends, but is it still the same?” she shrugs like she’s genuinely trying to figure it out. “Who knows? So basically, I’m back to where I started. I have feelings for her even though we’re not together, but now,” she holds a single finger up for a dramatic pause and you stop what you’re doing to give her your undivided attention.

“_Now_, I know what it’s like to be loved by her and what it’s like to lose all of that. At least before - I don’t know - I could convince myself like, _meh, she probably isn’t a good fit for me_. _She’d probably make a terrible girlfriend_, which now I know for a fact _isn’t_ true.

“So riddle me that, huh, Miss Hot Bartender,” she says as she looks up from her drink to search your eyes. “What’s the point of falling in love?”

“And what if it works out? Wouldn’t you want to experience that type of happiness that comes from being in love for the rest of your life,” you throw back at her.

“But things change all the time! People change. _Feelings_ change. Like, look at it like this,” she’s leaning forward now, making sure you’re paying attention to every word she’s saying.

“Let’s say, like you and I, okay,” she gestures to the space between the two of you. “You and I could be madly in love right now. Like genuinely decide to be committed to one another _now_. At this very moment. But!

“Who’s to say how you’re going to feel years from now? Even just months from now. How _I’m_ going to feel. People fall out of love all the time and how do you deal with that when you’re the only one that’s left _still_ in love, huh? What if they meet someone else and fall in love with _them_,” she asks that last question like it physically pains her to even think about it. “Everything is the same for you, but things have changed for the other person, and it’s not like, you can really fault them for that, right? You can’t help how they end up feeling.

“Or, what if, get this,” she continues with her speech and you’ve no choice but to listen. “What if you stay in love with each other for a really long time. And then, bam!” She slams her hand down on the bar and you have to gesture to the old man at the other side of the room that everything’s okay as he gives you both an angry stare. Not that the girl in front of you is paying attention to anyone else around her anyway.

“One of you dies. Freak accident. Or – or like, some obscure terminal illness. What are you supposed to do from there? I mean, how do you deal with that heartache? Is the happiness you get from being in love worth the pain when everything inevitably gets ripped from under you? We’re all on borrowed time in one way or another, miss. So really, what is the point?”

“Do you just come here to have an existential crisis, ‘cause I don’t have the answers to the universe,” you finally respond and she takes the time to down her glass.

“Just something to think about before you decide to fall in love. Just doing a little public service, y’know. Like, quick PSA about falling in love: don’t do it. Just don’t.”

“I’ll try to avoid it,” you say to her with a small smile as she gestures for another round. “Okay, but like, since I’ve never truly been in love before, how do you even know you’re falling in love? Just so I know the signs and I can nip it in the bud, as you say.”

“I’m not really sure, I feel like you only realize it once it’s already happened. Like, you already fell in love and you’re screwed.”

"Well, that's very helpful. I can always count on you to be so cheerful."

"Okay, you know what, since you're special to me, I'll give ya some advice," she tells you with a smirk and you hit her arm with your bar towel.

"Ow," she exclaims without any real heat behind it. "No, but really," she starts again with a somewhat more serious tone. "A sign that you're falling is when you think about that person a lot. Like they're the first thing on your mind in the morning, and the last thing before you go to sleep, you know, that kind of stuff. You'll see something and it makes you think of them and they're the first person you want to text about it, and _that’s_ how you know you’re screwed – I mean how you know you’re falling.

“So if you catch yourself wanting to immediately text this person about the littlest things, here’s what you do,” she leans forward like she’s about to reveal the secret of the universe. “Stop yourself, and don’t text them. Text it to somebody else. Literally anybody else in your contacts. Text it to your mom or something if you have to. Just whatever you do, don’t send it to that person.”

And it goes on like this for the next few months. She comes to the bar once a month, starting off a conversation that contemplates the point (or in her case, the lack thereof) in trying in love. You try your best to counter her when you can though.

At some point, she started doing this thing where she comes up to the bar and the first thing she says is name a couple that has broken up – proving her argument on why love is a waste of time. And because you’ve always been competitive, you’ve started responding with a love story that _you_ know has stood the test of time as an antithesis.

It puts a little bit of balance in this one-sided universe she’s created.

You learn that her name is Lauren and she’s studying to be a doctor – well, _gotta get into med school first, babe_ is what she tells you – and you share, in turn, that you’re studying to be a writer, but unpublished stories don’t exactly pay the bills, so you pick up gigs here and there.

It’s once a month, but you find yourself genuinely looking forward to it. You end up talking to Lauren about everything and anything under the sun and it’s refreshing to be able to vent to someone you don’t really know. To be able to talk about stupid things and important things and everything in between without having to worry about being judged.

That’s the one thing you can always rely on with Lauren. She’s never going to judge you because as she says, she’s got enough to worry about in her own life. It’s like having that friend in your life where you can pick up right where you left off and don’t ever have to feel obligated to keep in touch with all the time.

You talk when the moment is there, and if it’s not, no big deal.

You talk about things in your life, how your families constantly pester you about meeting someone and settling down. You talk about what you like, what you don’t like, what you _really_ don’t like. You discuss failed dates and Lauren even tells you all about her theory about how the dating industry is a scam and everyone should just be in open relationships.

_“I try to be upfront about not wanting a relationship with everyone I sleep with and I **still** get shit for it when I don’t call them back. Like how is that fair,” she vents at you one night._

_“The ladies just can’t resist ya, Jauregui,” you say with a grin while she just rolls her eyes at you._

_-_

_“I don’t know, I felt like this one had potential, but then he started talking about what he wanted to name our kids on the **second** date,” you make a face as you remember your disastrous date from the night before._

_“Next time, just do what I do. Just run,” Lauren responds without taking her eyes off her phone as she fires off a text to a girl who you’re sure doesn’t know what’s coming her way. _

_-_

You also find out that she comes to the bar on the 14th of each month on purpose.

_The first night I came here, that would’ve been our anniversary. Our first year as a couple. _

When you only gave her a confused look, she had shrugged her shoulder like this wasn’t a revelation at all.

_What? Some of us are masochists, Camila._

\---

“Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan,” you hear the familiar husky voice and before she can even sit down, you already have a glass of whiskey on the bar in front of her. She smiles when she sees the glass and winks at you before continuing, “Everyone thought they were, like, the perfect couple and look at where they are now.”

“The Rock and his longtime girlfriend just got married so what do you have to say to that, hm?” You lean back with your arms crossed while you watch her brows come together in concentration as she thinks about a possible rebuttal.

“Well, we’ll see how long that lasts.”

“They’ve been together for like over a decade before getting married, so they’ve already lasted a pretty long time.”

“Yeah yeah,” she waves your statement away before she gets into the stresses of the new semester and you can’t wait to tell her how the new bar-back has a crush on your manager, but he’s so unbelievably oblivious about it.

\---

“Okay, since you _naively_ believe in love,” Lauren starts and you ignore the jab in lieu of listening to what she has to say this time. “What are you even looking for in your future love-of-your-life,” she asks as she sets an arm on the bar and leans her chin on her palm while she awaits an answer. “What will it take to make Camila Cabello fall in love.”

“Well, it’s simple really,” you pause to create some suspense and because you know Lauren is the most impatient human being you’ve ever met. “I just need someone who believes in love that lasts,” you shrug and you even pair it with a cheeky wink.

“Boooo,” the girl cups her hands around her mouth for effect. “That’s not a real answer.”

“Okay fine,” you say as you roll your eyes at her antics. “I mean I really don’t need much, just someone I can depend on, y’know. Someone who’ll be there no matter what. My life is so full of instability – like, will I ever get published? – Who knows? I guess I just need someone who’s going to be my constant in this whirlwind of a life of mine.”

“Hm, that actually makes sense. Well,” she looks at you with that ever-present smirk. “Good luck to you, my friend. You’ll need it.”

It’s almost the end of your shift and Lauren’s gotten in the habit of staying with you until close. She says it’s because she feels bad that your bar always seems to be slow, but you know it’s because she’d rather walk you to your car at the end of the night because as much as she wants to convince people she doesn’t have a heart, you’ve actually seen it for yourself.

You’ve seen it in the way she talks about her family. Full of endearment and unconditional love. You’ve seen it in the way she talks about the patients at the clinic where she volunteers, how her eyes light up when talking about how she plans to help.

You’ve even seen it in how she’s managed the whole situation with her ex, how she’s remained genuinely good friends with her, not letting her pain get in the way of showing her that she still cares. She’d promise that they’d always be best friends and she’s kept that promise no matter how hard it’s been for her own heart.

Your thoughts get interrupted by a buzzing in your pocket and since there’s no one else to attend to, you decide to open the text from your mom.

“Ugh,” you say as you drop your phone onto the bar, opting to lean forward and groan into your arms.

“What’s up, buttercup?”

You look up and give Lauren your best disgusted face. “Don’t call me that.”

“Okay, what is it? Tell mama what’s got you in a mood.”

“That’s also weird.”

"No, but really, what is it," she asks after a small laugh.

“My cousin’s getting married next week and I’m happy for her. Really, I am,” you say sincerely. “And I want to be there for her on her big day, obviously. But my mother, who I love dearly and would kill for without question, has this tendency to set me up with her friends’ sons during these gatherings and she’s talking about how this one has nice hair and _he has such a nice smile, mija_ and-”

“Nope. I won’t do it,” Lauren is already fervently shaking her head when you look up confused at the interruption.

“Do what,” your hands are still in the air, mid-gesticulation.

“I won’t pretend to be your date. I’m sorry, this just isn’t that type of story,” she says in a straight face and you wonder why you even bother with this girl sometimes.

“You’re such an idiot,” you say with much more endearment than you intended.

\---

You see your mom approaching you with a special pep in her step and since she’s already made eye contact with you, the next best thing to do now is to down the glass of champagne in your hand so that’s exactly what you do, bracing yourself for the inevitable set-up that’s coming.

“Mija!” She engulfs you in a tight hug and as much as she annoys you at times, you’ve admittedly missed her, so you indulge in the feeling of her arms around you. “You really need to come home more, Mila. Your sister misses you a lot.”

That pulls on your heart in the slightest of ways because you know you've been caught up in school and your job and you miss your sister just as much, so you make sure to make a mental note to visit soon. "I know, ma," you say with a small pout. "I'll visit soon, I promise."

"Ooh, I love that dress, mija," your ma coos at you as she holds you at arm's length, surveying the floor-length strappy, satin dress you've chosen for the wedding. It's light and soft and it hugs you in all the right places because you do like to dress to impress when you're in the mood for it. "I know someone else who'd love it even more, though," she continues and you have to physically stop yourself from groaning out loud.

She’s essentially dragging you through the reception area as you contemplate the consequences of just making a break for it. You’re not the best runner, but you feel like you could outrun your mother at least. Maybe.

“I really don’t want to be set up with some boy, ma.”

She stops in her tracks at that and since you weren’t paying attention, you slam right into her back.

“Ow-”

“Why do you assume it’s a boy?”

“Wha- what,” you ask in confusion because to be fair, you’re still a little discombobulated from hitting your face on your mom’s head and now she can’t possibly be saying what she’s saying. You don’t remember coming out to your family.

“Why wouldn’t it be a boy?” you ask. “What else would it be? I love boys!” You can hear your pitch go higher with each statement and your mom is looking at you like you’re crazy. Which maybe you are.

“Oh mija,” she shakes her head at you fondly. “It’s okay,” she continues in a voice that’s gentle and comforting all at once, letting you know that you probably didn’t need to hold this part of you from her for so long. “I figured you’d tell me yourself one day, but I’m getting old, Mila. We gotta get you someone before I start forgetting my own name,” you’re ready to interrupt when she raises her hand to let you know you should let her finish. “And since you’ve rejected every single boy I’ve introduced to you, I found a _girl _who I know is just your type.”

And just like that, she’s back to dragging you to this mystery girl and okay, you’re out now apparently. No big deal. But you wanted to make sure your mom actually understood.

“I’m bi, by the way,” you say as she continues to drag you. “So boys _are _still in the game.” You see a man from the corner of your eye make eye contact with you and raise his eyebrow, pointing to himself in question. You shake your head and gesture for him to go away, “Not you, sir. Sit back down.”

You’re brought back to the situation when you hear your mom greet another lady in Spanish and you work to straighten your dress so that you look somewhat presentable. You might as well look good for this.

"Mija, this is my longtime friend from high school and her daughter."

You look up and brace yourself with as polite a smile as you can muster, but when your eyes meet familiar green ones, you’re left with your mouth hanging open, your words stuck in your throat.

She’s looking at you with that damned smirk and you can’t help but notice the rest of her. She’s wearing a body-hugging dress that goes down to just above her knees, the fabric cut in all the right places that leaves just enough to the imagination and you wanting more.

“Wow, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” her voice snaps you out of your trance and you watch her extend her hand out. “It’s nice to be able to put a face to the name, _Karla_.”

"Oh, would you look at that! There are already sparks everywhere," you hear your mom exclaim beside you and you vaguely register her pulling her friend away, leaving you and Lauren alone.

“What are you doing here?” you ask her once you finally get your bearings together.

“Oh come on, Camz. You’re not even a _little_ bit excited to see me?” she asks with a wide smile.

-

You find out that Lauren was dragged by her own mom as a last-minute date when her father had to attend to an out-of-town work emergency and that your moms have actually been best friends since high school, only now getting a chance to reunite and catch up.

You and Lauren have long abandoned the festivities of the reception and are walking along the beach with only the faint fairy lights behind you and the moon above you as your guide, your heels hanging by the straps from your fingers.

“I can’t believe our moms have been friends this whole time,” you shake your head in disbelief. You do your best impression of a Lauren smirk and you nudge her lightly when you say, “See? You _are_ supposed to fall in love with me in this story. The universe is trying to tell us something. I knew it.”

She meets your eyes and you get lost in them for a while as you feel something inside you tug your heart a little bit closer to hers. Her smile is the softest one you've seen from her, before it morphs into an all-too-familiar teasing grin.

“Pfft, I’ve sworn off love, remember? Not possible,” she says resolutely with just a hint of that smile from earlier. “Although,” she says with a pause while eyeing you up and down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than your bartender outfits, and as much as I love a good tank top on you,” she says as she gestures to your dress as if she’s presenting a prize. “I must say, this dress is 10/10 would recommend taking off.” She adds with an exaggerated wink.

You can’t help the whole-bodied laugh that comes out of you, the kind that makes you throw your head back as you push her off weakly. “Don’t be gross,” you manage to say as she looks back at you with a smile that warms you from your heart to your toes.

You decide the night isn’t too bad after all. There’s just enough wine flowing through your system that you let your inhibitions go and you feel the lightest you’ve ever been. You get to spend time with Lauren outside the bar and learn more about her beyond her everlasting hatred for love.

You even follow along as she takes you by the hand, intertwines your fingers while she guides your other hand on her shoulder and drops her own to rest comfortably on the small of your back, her fingers grazing the bare skin on the slit of your dress. Her touch sends sparks up your spine, igniting a warmth on your chest that you know isn’t from the alcohol. You grip her bare shoulder a little tighter and you notice an almost imperceptible smile grace her features as she guides you both to dance along with ease to the faint music that’s flowing with the breeze from the party a few yards away.

And in that second, dancing barefoot on the sand and watching bright eyes sparkle under the light of the stars, you think you fall a little bit in love. You fall in love with the moment. With the warm feeling that wraps around you like a blanket on a rainy day.

You fall in love with the idea of love, but certainly not with the person who doesn’t believe in it. You know better than that. So you save this feeling. You keep it tucked in the depths of your heart beneath all the banter and the small smiles. Just in case you ever need to remember what falling in love feels like.

\---

“Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.” Like clockwork, she comes in on the 14th of the month after the wedding and you pick up right where you left off.

“I got an invitation yesterday to my neighbors’ kid’s birthday party,” you say without missing a beat, not even lifting your eyes from the glasses you’re working on. “They just celebrated their 15th year together last week.”

You finally look up to see her giving you a skeptical look. “How do I know you’re not just making these stories up.”

“I would never lie to you,” you gasp as you bring your hand to your chest in mock indignation.

She picks up her drink with one hand while using the other to point back and forth between you and her eyes, letting you know that she’s watching you. You flip her off with a laugh as you make your way back to the stock room.

_Unlike_ clockwork, however, she comes in again the week right after and when you raise your eyebrow in question as she takes a seat at her usual spot, she just shrugs and gets right into whatever she wanted to vent about that day and you go along with it, not minding the extra time with her.

She comes in every week after that. You both pretend that nothing has changed.

It’s the 14th of another month and the bar is finally slowing down for the first time that night and still, there's no sign of Lauren. After a couple more hours of working the bar, you're barely out the door with your jacket still in your hand when you see her leaning on a lamppost right outside the entrance and you can't even deny to yourself the jump your heart makes inside your chest at the sight of her.

“You know the booze is _inside_," you say with a smile as you both start walking to your car.

She takes out one hand from where it was tucked in her jacket pocket and looks at her wrist as if to look at a watch, even though you know she’s not wearing one because she despises them. “Well, it’s technically not the 14th anymore.”

“And?”

“Maybe I wanted to see you on a day that’s not the 14th,” she shrugs, her tone tinged with the slightest hint that betrays her supposed nonchalance.

“And why is that, Jauregui?”

“So we can have our own date,” she wiggles her eyebrows at you obnoxiously, but you can’t help but feel like there’s a shift in the little world you’ve managed to create with Lauren.

So the 15th becomes your personal date. She tries to come in every week, but she especially tries to make it on the 15th of every month.

\---

Miami has been your home your whole life and you didn’t think that you’d ever need to be anywhere else but close to your family and longtime friends. But there’s an opportunity waiting for you in San Francisco and you haven’t been working as hard as you have in the last few years just to pass it up.

Lauren comes in one night and tells you she got into her dream medical school in New York.

You celebrate each other’s successes and feel genuinely happy for one another. You’ve got your lives ahead of you and you’re both one step closer to your dreams.

There’s a lingering sadness in your chest in the last few meet-ups you have with Lauren. It’s like you’re both trying to make the best of the time that you do have together, but there’s an ever-present feeling like the end of something that hasn’t even truly started is coming.

So she moves to New York and you move to the opposite end of the country and you expect it to end there.

You like to tell yourself that it was good while it lasted. Lauren was there when you needed her and you like to believe you were the same for her.

Some things just aren’t meant to last. Some are _almost_ love stories.

Maybe Lauren is one of those people that aren’t meant to stay in your life. She’s one of those characters in your story that stop by and re-arrange a few things in your plot, but in the end, your story goes on with or without her.

\---

On the first 15th since moving to San Francisco, you get a text.

You’re in bed for the night, but now sleep is the last thing on your mind and you couldn’t even do anything to stop the smile that forms on your lips if you tried.

Lauren: liam hemsworth and miley cyrus.

Lauren: checkmate, mate.

Camila: youre actually ridiculous

Lauren: oh is that the sound of defeat I hear?

Lauren: I mean how can you look _that_ in love in your wedding photos, and then, before you know it, we see miley with another gal, not even a year after getting married?

Camila: since we’re talking about the hemsworths

Camila: chris hemsworth has been happily married since 2010

Lauren:…

Camila: it’s okay, love. one of these days, i’ll get you to believe in love, you loser lmaoo

So you keep in touch. You text each other when you can, updating one another on small things and big things and sometimes you don’t even feel the distance. It’s a little different because the time zones mess with you a lot, but you don’t mind it when you wake up to a text of Lauren taking a selfie at her favorite coffee shop before reporting at the hospital for her rotations.

She doesn’t fail to bring up another broken relationship on the 15th of every month though, because if nothing else, Lauren Jauregui is persistent. But you always have a happy ending as a response, so maybe things haven’t changed after all.

You're scrolling through instagram and you come across a picture of a white mink popping its head out of a hole in a tree and the first thing on your mind is that it reminds you so much of Lauren, with its grumpy-looking expression and soft fur. So naturally, you get ready to send it to her.

The second thing on your mind is _Oh no._

You try to think of someone else to send it to so you pull up your roommate’s number instead. She’s been the best thing that has happened to you since moving to California. She introduced you to her friends, who have treated you as one of their own, and she showed you around all the right places when you first got to the city. You couldn’t be happier to have met her.

Camila: omg D, look at this

Camila: its face kinda reminds me of you ((:

Dinah: first of all

Dinah: ur smiley is backward

Dinah: second of all, r00d!

Dinah: byE

You frown at your screen and decide you don’t have to overthink things, so you pull up Lauren’s number anyway.

Camila: hey look, how’d they get this pic of you

Camila: always so >:[

Lauren: wow the resemblance is truly uncanny

Lauren: soft and anger

Lauren: my brand

You hate and love that it’s exactly the type of reaction you expected and were looking forward to. You carry on with much of the same way for the next several months, feeling like you’re starting all over again and at the same time, you can’t help the familiar feeling that invades every part of you.

\---

Sometimes life throws you a curveball. And other times, that ball hits you straight in the face.

Camila: we should switch just this one time

Lauren: huh ?

Camila: i give you an example of a love story that doesn’t last and you give me a happy one

Lauren: what happened

Camila: my mom and dad

\---

You feel numb at this point. You’ve been crying so much these past few days that you feel like your body’s just ran out of tears and you feel empty in every sense of the word.

Your mother is doing much better than you could have ever imagined, but she’s the strongest person you know, so you shouldn’t really be surprised. The feeling of helplessness that overcame you when you first got the call from your mother hasn’t left you and you feel like you’re just going to have to make space for it in your heart at this point.

It still hasn't quite registered that your dad is actually gone. Not even as you try to drag your tired body up the few flights of stairs to your apartment after spending a few days back home. You were lucky enough to scramble a few days off together for your dad's funeral, but you couldn't really stay away for much longer. Besides, it killed you to be back home knowing things aren't the same.

“Camila.”

You get to your door and Lauren is looking at you like she’s willing to tape all your broken pieces together with her bare hands if you asked her to.

Seeing her after so long and hearing her voice is all it takes for you to break down once again and you don’t hesitate to take comfort in the warmth of her arms, her hold on you the only thing that’s keeping you together.

After spending a couple of hours just crying in Lauren's arms, you decide you need some fresh air. It's nearing midnight, but you find yourself sitting next to Lauren with some takeout as you watch the dark waters from the side of a small hill that overlooks the Golden Gate Bridge.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for the funeral,” she tells you sincerely before picking on her fries.

You’re devouring your own food because you hadn’t realized how much you’ve neglected feeding yourself until you finally got the chance to have some real food in front of you.

You take the time to swallow before looking her in the eyes so she knows you mean what you’re about to say. “I know you’re very busy, Lo. I didn’t think you’d be able to visit anytime soon at all. That doesn’t mean I think that you care any less.” She gives you a small smile at that.

“I actually hope you didn’t drop some big project or exam just to fly here to be with me,” you say after a few moments of silence.

She coughs in disbelief and looks at you like you’re crazy before saying, “What? You think you’re more important than my ambitions and dream to be a doctor? Pfft, of course not. I penciled you in.”

“You’re stupid,” you say around your smile.

“You’re lucky to have me, so I think you actually meant _thank you_,” she says smugly

“I really am though,” you tell her sincerely. “If you think about it,” you start to stay. “You’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

Lauren makes a face and you want to reach over and smooth the lines on her forehead. “That’s sad, Camz. Go get yourself laid please.”

“Hey!” you exclaim as you try to push her from where she’s sat, which doesn’t get very far because you’re only like 120 pounds when wet and she used to play softball. “I get laid!”

“Hm-mhm,” she nods patronizingly as she pats the top of your head. “Of course you do.”

On her last day in San Francisco, you can’t help but think if this truly is all you’ll have with Lauren. Something that lasts forever that you get to experience in short bursts at a time. You don’t think it’s a bad bargain if it means you get to keep her in your life.

"Okay, that's as far as they'll let you go, Camz. You're cute and all, but that's not gonna get you through security," you're brought back to reality when you hear Lauren's voice. You see her standing with her luggage near the entrance of security at the airport, looking at you with an amused expression.

When you don’t respond, she turns to you a little bit more seriously. “You gonna be okay, love?”

You give her a smile that you know isn’t all too convincing, but with you and Lauren, it’s always been about what’s left unsaid. “If I say no, what are you gonna do? Stay?” you can’t help but laugh at the thought of Lauren staying on a whim.

“You don’t think I’ll do that?” she asks you in a tone that sounds almost like she’s actually serious. “Because I’ll do that if you ask me.”

“Okay, alright, prince charming,” you wave away the hope that’s budding in your chest when you nudge her playfully. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

You feel a deep longing in your heart that you didn’t know was there until you’re watching Lauren check to make sure she has everything before she really has to go, so you get her attention one last time.

“She said it was worth it, by the way,” you tell her and she looks at you quizzically. “My mom,” you clarify and you have to actively think about steadying your tone. “She told me the pain she’s feeling is nothing compared to the happiness that my dad has brought into her life. That she knows their story isn’t over because she’ll always carry his love in her heart.”

Lauren lets your words settle before she takes you in her arms and for the first time since your dad died, it really feels like you’re going to be okay.

She pulls away and tries to fight the tears you can see gathering in her eyes. “Well then maybe your parents’ story doesn’t belong in the ‘stories that don’t last’ category after all,” she gives you a smile and you try to etch the way it looks in your mind. You try to memorize this feeling. When all of Lauren is paying attention to no one and nothing but you. When she gives you that smile you know is reserved only for a world where it’s just you and her. Because you don’t know when you’ll get to have her like this again.

\---

Lauren is there for you even when she’s 3,000 miles away. She’s there for you in every way you need her and even more at times. Somehow, she makes the time to give you attention even though you _know_ she’s only getting busier. She’s there when you need to cry, when you want to laugh about stupid things, whenever you need a distraction.

Each day it gets a little bit easier to breathe in a world that doesn’t have your dad when you have people in your life that stick by your side no matter what. Your family keeps you grounded even from the other side of the country. Dinah and the friends you’ve made in this new city have been everything you didn’t even think you needed. You have a job doing what you love.

You have Lauren. And somehow, no matter how vague that whole situation is, you’re okay with it. You feel secure in the fact that you’ll always have her to turn to.

“So like, why aren’t you guys dating again?”

You’re too focused on not coming in last in this round of Mario Kart that it takes you a few seconds to process that Dinah has said something to you from her place on the floor.

“What?”

“You and Lauren. What’s the deal? Why aren’t you together like for real?”

You sigh as you come in last place once again. You blame it on getting distracted with Dinah’s question. It’s got nothing to do with your lack of hand-eye coordination.

"I don't know, D," you say as you toss the controller away from you. "It's simpler this way, easier for both of us. It'd be weird to date."

“What, why would that be weird?” Dinah turns around to give you a confused look, her wild curls flying and almost hitting you in the face.

“Like,” you gesture vaguely in front of you. “We know each other too well at this point. There’s so much familiarity. She’s like the one constant in my life.” You try not to think about how that’s exactly what you’ve always wanted in someone.

“Isn’t that the point of being with someone.”

"Maybe I just want her in my life forever. And if we take this next step, who knows what will happen. That's scary to think about, to be honest. Losing her."

You look over at Dinah and she’s raising an eyebrow at you. “Sounds like Lauren’s cynicism has rubbed off on you,” she laughs a little.

“I wish she rubbed off on me,” you say under your breath. Which, apparently wasn’t as _under your breath_ as you thought.

“Okay that’s nasty, _you’re_ nasty!” Your friend exclaims as she stands up and starts beating you with a couch pillow.

“I’m kidding!” You try to get out in between your laughs as she chases you around the room.

\---

When your crazy schedules have finally lined up for the first time in years, you decide to take a trip together to get away from everything that has made your schedules crazy in the first place.

Because this is the kind of relationship you have with Lauren. You see her every few months, but you both make sure that your time together is as meaningful as it can get.

So naturally, you find yourself walking side by side with Lauren on a small stone bridge somewhere on the outskirts of Paris, the moon bright and big over your heads as you contemplate about the forces in the universe that have made it possible for you to be in each other’s lives the way that you are now.

You look over to your side and you see Lauren devouring her 13th croissant of the day as she gives you a toothy smile when she catches you staring.

“You enjoying your _croissant_?” you say with your best French accent.

“Oh my god, Camz. Don’t be uncultured,” she responds with a sigh. “It’s a _pain au chocolat_.”

“And you’re a _pain_ in the ass,” you can’t help but say.

“As long as it’s on _your_ ass, why not?” she shrugs.

“You’re stupid.”

“You love me.”

“You’re lucky you have me in your life,” you say as you try to push her.

“I guess,” she concedes with an eye roll.

When the laughter between the two of you finally dies down, you welcome the surge of warmth that overtakes you as you watch Lauren in her barest form, smiling widely and being as carefree as you've ever seen her. Her eyes are bright and she's looking at you like you're not crazy for thinking you might be passing up a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love if you don't do anything about it now.

You embrace the courage that suddenly envelopes you. Maybe it’s because you’re in the city of love. And maybe it’s because there’s something about the way you’re surrounded by everything that is Lauren - her laugh, the way her smile captivates every part of your being – that always makes you want to be honest, even if it’s just to yourself.

Maybe it’s because it’s getting harder to breathe with the pressure of each word that’s left unsaid in your chest.

“Dinah says it makes sense for us to date.”

You gather whatever self-control you have left within you to force yourself to look straight ahead even as you feel her turn her head to look at you, studying your side profile as if to make sure that she had heard you right.

You see her start to smile out of the corner of your eye before she says. “Oh?”

“Hm-mhm,” you only nod in response.

“_Dinah_ said that, now did she?”

You finally turn to look at her and you can see that beneath her teasing tone, her eyes are searching yours.

“I don’t know, Laur. Is it such a crazy idea?”

You see the indecision in her eyes. There’s so much uncertainty swimming in those green eyes you’ve grown to love so much over the years. You wish you could let her know somehow that there’s nothing more you’d want to do for the rest of your life than prove that you’re here to stay. To ease her ever-present worry that nothing in this world is guaranteed.

“I like having you in my life, Camz.” And there it is. You could almost feel the fear surrounding every word that drops from her lips. “I don’t want to lose you.” It breaks your heart to see her breaking in front of you as she tries to tear her walls down.

“And you could still lose me anyway. Even if we decide not to be together,” you say as you stop walking to face her properly, trying to get her to understand just how much you’re willing to work for this. “Don’t you think we deserve a chance? I mean, you already know all there is to know about me. You already know my bad habits,” you say as you try to get a smile out of her.

“What if it doesn’t last?”

“How about we take whatever the universe has for us and make the most of it,” you respond as you reach for her hand, her fingers wrapping instinctively around yours. “Whether that’s a few months. A few years. Or maybe it’s even _forever_,” you say with as much conviction as you can muster. “I want to try with you, Laur.”

She swallows hard before looking straight into your eyes and you try to hang onto every word she says.

"I finish school in a couple of months and there's a good chance I'll match for residency in San Francisco," she finally lets out with a shaky breath. "If by then, you still want to try with me, then we'll do it. We'll go for it and I'll be all in."

You don't realize you're crying until she's reaching a hand up to gently run her finger under your eyes, wiping the tears that you can't help but let out. You feel like you can breathe again after being underwater for so long.

“Sounds like a deal.”

\---

_I got matched in San Francisco_ is the text you wake up to and you feel like you could cry. You dial her number with trembling fingers and the phone barely rings before she’s on the other line, on the verge of tears herself.

After getting settled in her new apartment, you decide to take Lauren out to see San Francisco. The city has grown on you over the last few years and you can’t wait to show Lauren everything you love about it.

You’re walking on the beach as you wait for the sun to set when Lauren stops you and takes a hold of your hand. Everything about this moment reminds you of the first time you truly saw Lauren. The first time she let you see a little piece of her heart. There had been so much fear and uncertainty surrounding you at the time and it’s such a stark contrast to how you’re feeling right now.

Right now, you feel at peace, like the last piece of the puzzle is finally slotting in its place in your universe.

She brings your hands to her lips and you watch her close her eyes as she leaves a lingering kiss on your intertwined fingers.

“You still want to try?” she asks and you can’t even begin to describe just how _much_ you want to.

“More than anything,” is what you barely let out through shaky lips.

“There’s no backing out, right?” she teases you, but her words are laced with the fear you know she carries around in her heart. “Because if we do this, I’m all in, Camila. You have all of me. I’m handing you every piece of me.”

“Laur,” you breathe out as you try your best not to let your emotions overwhelm you. “I love you. I’ve loved you for who knows how long, and I _promise_, I’m in this just as much.”

She brings both of her hands to gently cup around your face and you watch her eyes fall to your lips before they disappear beneath her lashes when she leans forward. Her lips lightly touch yours as she lets out a shaky _I love you too, Camz. So so much,_ before finally connecting your lips.

You feel like you can breathe for the first time even as she takes the air straight out of your lungs. There’s a push and pull between you and your mouths move against each other as if you’re trying to make up for lost time.

Your arms tighten around her waist as she glides her fingers through your hair and curls them around the back of your neck, bringing you closer than you thought was possible. You let her in and you feel the burn in your chest spread throughout your body, wrapping you in the warmth of Lauren's love.

You don’t hesitate to swallow every gasp she lets out and you do your best to tell her everything you’ve ever felt for her throughout the years. You hope she can tell in the way you’re holding onto her as if you’ll never get enough. You hope she can tell in the way you don’t ever want to let go.

At some point, however, you break apart and she leans her forehead against yours. Her voice is light and airy when she lets out with a small laugh, “I can’t believe we waited so long to do that.”

You figure you probably wouldn’t be where you are now, happy and in love and content in her arms, if you hadn’t let time and distance get in the way for so long.

It’s how you knew she was the one. You knew because it didn’t matter that you were constantly apart. It was hard to let go of someone that had made a home in your heart from the moment she told you, _Love isn’t real_.

And maybe she’s right. Maybe love isn’t real.

Maybe love is a concept someone somewhere had invented to make humans strive for something as we all go about on this path of life. Maybe it isn’t real in the way that you could really define what it is if anybody ever asked you to.

In any case, whatever it is that you have with Lauren - whether it’s love in its most basic sense, or something else entirely - you know that it’s something you’ll have forever.

\---

It’s harder than you thought.

There are times when she still doubts and there are times when you get tired. You fight and you argue, but everything else seems so small compared to how you feel about one another.

You're both committed to making it work and with each open conversation you have with one another, you take a brick off of the wall she's built around herself and you lay it on the foundation of your love for each other instead.

It’s a constant decision to make it work, to stay committed despite your fears that everything can end in the blink of an eye, but it’s a decision you’re willing to make over and over.

You choose each other every day because you can't imagine life without her. You hold onto what you said to one another when you first decided that you were going to do this – that you'll be happy with whatever time you get to have.

Because the time you have with each other, even if it doesn’t last, has made you feel more alive than you have ever known.

\---

“Lauren and Camila.”

“Hm?” Lauren barely acknowledges you as she continues to work on her crossword puzzle, her face scrunched up in concentration and her glasses hanging off her nose as she bends over the table to take a closer look.

You’re sitting on your porch as the afternoon sun slowly sets on the horizon, casting a red-orange hue around Lauren’s silhouette in front of you. There are wavy strands of grey hair escaping her loose ponytail and you can’t help but smile as you watch her, your love burning just as bright as ever, even after all these years.

“It’s the 15th today,” you tell her and she finally looks up at that, a single eyebrow raised in question.

“And?”

“And so, there’s your love story that lasts. Lauren and Camila,” you repeat.

There’s a hint of a smile on her face and you watch the lines that have formed on her features that tell the story of your years together move with her lips.

“Well actually,” she starts as she leans back on her chair and watches you with a glint in those eyes that are as green as ever. “The story hasn’t ended. You could still leave me,” she shrugs before finishing with, “_I _could still leave _you_.”

She still makes you smile about the stupidest things and you wouldn’t change a single thing.

“You’re so stupid, I love you.”

\---

Not all love stories last.

But you like to believe in yours.

\---

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, I’d love to hear what y’all think   
feel free to leave a kudos/comment/feedback if ya feel like it!  
  
-madds (wattpad: jaureguicabello5eva)


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